THE BOOGEYMAN

Journal Entry

THOUGHTS™️

01–03–2022

︎ Writer: Stew Caldo



Back to brain drain's I guess. I'm simply writing these out of necessity to better understand what's going through my head.


Currently, I'm feeling slightly anxious for the day – why is it so hard for me to do sprint planning? [REDACTED]


I want to get mor


What I need to realize is, knowledge is power – understanding shouldn't be associated with this crippling fear. There's power in knowing.


I treat my life the same way. If I'm anxious about something, I often don't look into it anymore in fear of it becoming a reality.


I think I've been like this since I was a kid. I used to have a fear that there was someone waiting to kill me in my closet. Let's say it's the boogeyman. My biggest fear was that, while walking to the bathroom late at night, the boogeyman would come out of my closet. What's odd though is I never opened the closet door to just check and get it over with. I would spend entire nights in fear of this inexistent creature, rather than just checking and getting it over with.


I spend so much of my life like this, not exploring anxieties or things I don't understand for fear that they'll become a real problem. But, the truth is, if something is a real and festering problem in my life – it doesn't need me to believe in it for it to be real. If my business is failing, it's failing. If I'm depressed, I'm depressed. None of those things change once I decide to learn the truth. But, if I explore the truth before it's too late, I have an opportunity to turn things around.


The boogeyman isn't real – only my fear of him is.