GREEN TEA, LEMON, AND HONEY
Journal Entry
THOUGHTS™
01–19–2024
︎ Writer: Stew Caldo
Sometimes it feels like green tea, lemon, and honey can fix everything.
Sometimes I think before I speak. For a long time. I'll chew on the words throughout my day. It could be before seeing a friend. Or meeting with employees. A client. How I'll open up. What I'll say first. What they might say back.
I talk a lot about wishing we lived in a hunter gatherer society. Or some sort of traditional-modern structure where we have a typical industrial complex, everyone works jobs as they normally do and contributes to society, but once a year they get pulled for 2 - 3 weeks to be hunter-gatherers. To live in an ancient fashion. Everyone would get to do this, so we'd need a big area for those people. I think one of the Dakota's would work. Or Florida. Actually, Oregon too. Just clear everyone out, let nature overtake the buildings, and then once a year we go there to live like hunter-gatherers. In tents. Playing a pivotal role in a small group of 80 - 100. Completely leaving behind loved ones, your job, everything.
I think I might be a bit unhappy right now. With work. I think Round Two® is always trying to catch up to what I'd wanted it to be. Last year was great for 70% of the time. But I still barely [REDACTED]. Not to say that everything is about [REDACTED], but I'd like to feel a bit more [REDACTED] for my time.
[REDACTED].
I want to have fun again. I want to love people again. I know in reality, when I was back in those moments, I wasn't fully happy. I felt the same way I always do. The same way I do now. But I'm getting sucked into the winter routine. Workout, do your job, be tired at the end of the day, take a bath, watch a movie, start over. I wanna break the routine a bit and do somethings that I love.
I feel like I spent my twenty's working for other people, even though I owned Round Two®. I was working for my [REDACTED]. Making sure I could help if she needed it. I was working for [REDACTED]. In case he got into trouble. I was working for [REDACTED]. Giving her a life she wanted. At the very end of it all, I was doing it for me as well. I know that for a fact. But the way I worked, was in fear that I wouldn't provide for them.
I know how to be poor. I know how to live paycheck to paycheck. I've done that already. I want to make decisions for the business that are selfishly for me. That's not to say I'll [REDACTED]. But I want to selfishly choose something that makes me happy.
I don't want to be here again next January.
It's 6AM, Friday Morning. I want to live this weekend in peace.