STAINING THE PERFECT WHITE TEE
Journal Entry
THOUGHTS™️
11–27–2021
︎ Writer: Stew Caldo
I washed my perfect white tee with a graphic tee that bled ink on it. It was a sad circumstance. Pulling it out and discovering it had turned pink really twisted me up. I ran a heavy bleach cycle on it all day yesterday and finally got it back to a somewhat off-white color. To be honest, I still see some peach tones, but that might just be placebo since I know the ink is somewhere in deep down.
I feel like there’s a metaphor to that. Getting your panties all twisted up over some imperfection that only you notice. Nobody around you cares. And, sadly, most of the time, this is a metaphor for things in our life that we do for an outside audience. That I do for an outside audience. Let’s talk about clothes for example. I get so hung up over my outfit, but at the end of the day, nobody cares. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop trying at all with my wardrobe - there’s a certain level of excitement and entertainment I get from being able to style myself in clothes that I love. But there never has to be a negative end, filled with anxiety and stuff. I should be able to cancel out the negative, realizing that I can wear whatever I want as long as my dick isn’t out and the world won’t care.
Idk, it’s not that crazy of a metaphor I guess, but it’s nice to see symbolism in the mundane day to day problems we go through.
One thing that does worry me is my addiction to screens. Maybe I should just start forgetting my phone at home on purpose. I’m going to the flea market in a bit and I really want a break from screens.
I feel worn down and depressed after too much screen time. If I sit for even 10 minutes and watch TikTok I become a depressed shell of my former self. It’s crazy how quickly it can become toxic.
Speaking of boundaries, I’ve been really bad lately about turning my phone off thirty minutes before bed. I’ve also been bad about journaling in the mornings. I need to realize that wether or not I want to journal, it helps me separate the cluster fuck of thoughts in my head and better understand what’s going on inside.
I fixed the over stained shirt. I dedicated myself to solving a problem that I wasn’t entirely sure I could solve. Often times, the problems that have higher risk offer the highest reward. What are risks:
Interesting. We get what we give.