DUE FOR CORRECTION

Journal Entry

THOUGHTS™

03–29–2022

︎ Writer: Stew Caldo





It's an odd feeling that life is this well put together. Aren't I supposed to be due for a chaotic episode soon?


[REDACTED NAME] and I used to joke about bad things being on a cycle. Something predictable. We'd say, “[REDACTED NAME] is due for a correction any day now" after he'd hooked up with consecutive 10's night after night.


But, I guess the chaotic episodes have a bit of reliance on me – and my reaction. That's actually a key ingredient. I just haven't been reacting anymore. I don't care as much. I grew thick skin. But even then, I have plenty of room to grow here. I still worry about people not liking me. Or being perceived in a light that I don't appreciate. Soon I'll find a new peace – one that can't be shaken by [EDIT: one’s opinion of me].


Last week was good – The weekend was amazing too. I got drunk Thursday night with [REDACTED NAME] and [REDACTED NAME]. I really love them both. I feel a special connection with [REDACTED NAME]. I don't know what it is, but I want to protect her light. I don't want anybody to hurt her. She's so pure.


I've talked with a few people about the amount of drinking I've been doing – and I'm not alone. We really do move as one generation. It feels like we're always in pace together. [REDACTED NAME] is drinking nearly every day. So is [REDACTED NAME]. [REDACTED]. I hate when people "Go Sober". Like, don't make it a thing, just stop drinking and be quiet about it. Or do what [REDACTED NAME] does, just drink soda water and bitters so nobody can tell.


I don't have much else to recount.


I'm loving Ham on Rye. It reminds me of my own childhood - minus the [REDACTED].