BREATHER

Journal Entry

THOUGHTS™️

07–22–2021

︎ Writer: Stew Caldo




Lately I've been choosing to do journal prompts because I have nothing to really write about. I don't know if it's that there's nothing happening around me, or if I just have my head up in the clouds with work and I can't come down long enough to sit with my own thoughts. Probably the latter.


I've been having a weird week – I keep fucking up. I'm just off. I formatted a memory card with a $[AMOUNT REDACTED] shoot on it, ordered all the wrong pieces to build my new camera rig, can't seem to move any of my design projects forward, and on top of all of that I just haven't felt very accomplished. But despite all of that, I've been extremely optimistic. Maybe not audibly to those around me, but internally. I haven't felt worried, scared, or anxious. I've been content in knowing that I'm doing a good job and god is looking out for me.


I guess that's something to be proud of. I'd been begging for this mindset weeks ago, and now it's here. I'm living my life, worry-free, and even when all goes wrong I'm un-phased (internally).


I do need to work on being a better man around Phi and [REDACTED]. I get so angry sometimes and I don't realize how that affects those around me.


For Phi, I need to be better about hearing her needs, and just giving her my best self.


Lately, she's been getting time with me at the end of the day when I have nothing left.


I think I need to just let myself slow down on mornings like these and take a breather.